Proclamation

I am my mother's daughter, there's no stopping me from doing what I want and achieving what I want in my life. Sorry mamí, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I am independent, fierce, and an intelligent grown woman. Whether or not you admit it or see it, makes no difference to me, because I refuse to be emotionally manipulated. I don't need your validation or your approval, although it would be nice, but I know that I'll never get it. And its perfectly okay, because the only one that needs to validate and approve me is, well, me. So this is my proclamation to myself that things will be different and its going to be all about me. No longer is caring about myself going to be selfish. I need to care about me, because I need to love myself and respect myself in order to get through life. So no more running away from my problems and issues. I gotta face them and work through them. How do I expect to be someone's mamí (one day in the distant future of course!) if I can't work through my own crap!? This is me being real with myself.  Life has not always been kind to me, but I can learn from it and take the good from the bad, no matter how painful it may be. My hope is that one day I can give back to others in whatever way, shape or form possible.

I must remember that I am amazing, gorgeous, intelligent, well read, indispensable, strong, capable, fierce, and most importantly that I am me no matter what changes I make. that's the beauty in life: change happens and its always on going. Its a continuous cycle. Must learn to embrace change and all that it brings.

Fill in the Blank Friday #16

 

 

1.   New Years is     often a night of uncertainty. I've never been into the whole party/celebration aspect of it so I always sort of just dread the day/night   .

2.   One of my New Year's resolutions will be   to not wait for one particular day to make resolutions, but rather continuously evaluate where I am and where I want to be; so that I can make the necessary changes for the better     .

3.  A New Year's resolution I've made in the past was to   idk? I always forget them   .

4. The most time consuming resolution I ever made was    to not repeat a sweater for a whole month. I have enough sweaters, but coming up with different combinations was tough    .

5.  This year I will be spending New Year's Eve   at a good friend's house with good company or I may just be spontaneous and head over to a NYE party I was invited to attend. No alcohol for me though, its been a tough month and I will not let it consume me into the point of no return (read: blackout)  .

6.  If I could wish one thing for my new year it would be   to continue on my journey of 'becoming' and resolving all my internal conflicts/anxieties/problems. I just really want to learn to be happy on my own, make new friends, learn to be a better person with the ultimate goal of preparing myself for the next few years down the line .

7.  2012 is going to be    filled with challenges, hurts, love, excitement, happiness, joy, hard work, good music/company/food, more coffee, and another heck of a year in the life of Christina  .

via KSNY

When I get into my world of reading this is how I feel like. Everything comes together. It all makes sense. Its just me and my book; no one else can come in. I feel as though nothing can make me unhappy for that instant. Reading has been my escape since I can remember. Now more than ever I understand why I've always read so much. The simple reason: to escape that which makes me unhappy. To escape my family life. To escape that which brings me down. So next time when you question why I read voraciously, remember that it means the world to me. It makes me happy. I'm elated after reading a good book. I may have my Supergirl tendencies when I read, but I want to make sure I remember the best bits and pieces of the books I've read. I don't want to lose that which has become a part of me.

I'm feeling a bit under the weather and just a bit bah humbug with the holiday season. So for now I'm taking a break from blogging. Not really in the mood to blog much right now. I hope to be back in full swing at the start of the new year. I have a week to get myself together or at least attempt to. But for now I'm off to buy myself a sketch pad, some water colors, and a waterproof pen. Oh and a new book lamp and desk tray.

Words of Wisdom #16

“I still love books. Nothing a computer can do can compare to a book. You can’t really put a book on the Internet. Three companies have offered to put books by me on the Net, and I said, ‘If you can make something that has a nice jacket, nice paper with that nice smell, then we’ll talk.’ All the computer can give you is a manuscript. People don’t want to read manuscripts. They want to read books. Books smell good. They look good. You can press it to your bosom. You can carry it in your pocket.”  – Ray Bradburyw