All nighter

I told myself that I would not freak out about school this semester, yet here I find myself again! Again, about to have meltdown no. 2 of the school year!!!! So this is what I'm going to do: grab some coffee and pull an all nighter. Now is this all nighter even necessary? No. But will it make me feel better? Yes! I hope to get all of my work done tonight so that I can at least be a bit more relaxed on Friday evening. Some habits are definitely hard to break. And I may or may not have shed a tear or two out of frustration and desperation. I feel that I may have gotten in over my head with working full time and going to school part time with observations. I keep telling myself that I can do this, yet I find myself not believing those words I'm trying to convince myself with....

HELP! :(

meltdowns.

Last Sunday I had a bad case of grad school meltdown and I couldn't focus. I literally overwhelmed myself into the point of crying in my bed. I could not snap out of it. Everything seemed to be going wrong. Internet was slow. Fedex Kinko's did recognize my PDF file, thankfully a friend works there was able to fix that problem. Starbucks did not help my mood (patrons hogging tables and chairs when they weren't even using them!) It felt like the world was conspiring against me. Not even poor Dex' could make me feel better. I must have spent at least a good 2 hours in bed under the covers crying and feeling bad for myself. In my 13+ years of going to school this has almost become a part of my routine. It always happens at some point or another, or at several points. I wonder when my next one will be!?

The bright side to my meltdown is that I actually read ahead in one of my classes. So I'm already working on week 2 assignments and reading; and I haven't even gone to my week 1 class!

Silver lining in my cloud: even in the midst of a meltdown there are sunny skies and happy times ahead. Now if I can manage to remind myself that every time I have one.